India Haiku, Vol. 3

Vast India,
home to one billion souls
And that's just the goats

Before marriage,
ask young bride "Will dowry
have cable TV?"

Why bother
owning buffaloes? Two words:
Free ketamine

South Indian food.
You want round rice bullshit
or square rice bullshit?

Steel bars for sale!
Steel! Please consider buying
steel bars from us.

Thiruvananthapuram.
Dravidian languages,
ill-suited for haiku

"Thali": set lunch,
intestinal roulette, play
for thirty rupees

Never ever
stand down the grade from a
peeing elephant

Hey sexy,
what's under that wet lungi?
Another lungi.

Kerala
All the evidence you need
Karl Marx loves Jesus

This cement
made using robots? Truly,
Astounding.

Mumbai: come for
the urban squalor, stay for
the train bombings.

Islam teaches:
Pray, fast, shave just the mustache;
it'll look great.

Just when you thought
your penis was safe, someone
goes and pinches it

Ketchup on
egg sandwiches; paprika
on sliced pineapple

Hey, did it hurt?
...
...
...
When your soul was reborn
in this world of pain?

I hear you have
a brand new India. Hope you
kept the warranty