Gangaikondacholapuram

The History of Gangaikondacholapuram.

Gangaikondacholapuram

There is a mighty temple of Shiva in the ruins of the city they call "the town of the Chola king who conquered the Ganges", Gangaikondacholapuram. Now deserted, all that remains is the temple itself, its precinct walls, and the village of Gangaikondacholapuram.

Gangaikondacholapuram was for a long time the capital of the Chola empire at its peak, when its northern frontier lay in the Ganges basin and it dominated southern Asia. From Gangaikondacholapuram the emperors even launched expeditions of pillage and conquest as far as Burma by land and Indonesia by sea, whose spoils added to the wealth of Gangaikondacholapuram.

Getting to Gangaikondacholapuram

Lying in a small village in the middle of a rural delta where there isn't a whole lot to see besides rice, I was forced to make do with local transportation. I walked into the Kumbakonam bus station and asked "Excuse me, which bus to Gangaikondacholapuram?"

"Gangaikondacholapuram?" the inquiry official asked.
"Yes, Gangaikondacholapuram" I answered.
"Go to Gangaikondacholapuram you take bus to Anniyaikarai then you take bus Anniyaikarai to Gangaikondacholapuram."
"Thanks", I offered, assuming the conversation was over.
"...You want Gangaikondacholapuram?"
As slowly as I could, I uttered "Gangaikondacholapuram."
"Gangaikondacholapuram this bus."

I took the bus and rode it across an unchanging expanse of paddies all the way to Anyakarai, or whatever it's called, a village squashed on an island between two dams in the delta. I braced myself for another tedious inquiry and raised my eyebrow to capture the attention of a passerby who looked like he might know how to get to Gangaikondacholapuram. He didn't. I asked another man "Gangaikondacholapuram?", waving my finger at the the chain of buses struggling to maneuver in the tight confines between the dams. He merely shrugged and said something which I believe means "I only speak Tamil, but Gangaikondacholapuram is that way."

Just then I heard a voice. "Gangaikondacholapuram?" it beckoned. I turned to see who had uttered the word 'Gangaikondacholapuram'. It was clearly meant for me. You don't say "Gangaikondacholapuram" in casual conversation. It was a rickshaw-wallah and he took me to Gangaikondacholapuram without any fuss.

Visiting Gangaikondacholapuram

We arrived in Gangaikondacholapuram in the late afternoon, late enough for Gangaikondacholapuram's famous temple to open after Tamil Nadu's customary sleepless afternoon siesta. "So this is Gangaikondacholapuram..." I mused.

On all sides there was litGangaikondacholapuramtle to be seen except the odd row of coconut trees lining the Gangaikondacholapuram edge of a rice paddy, and the widely spaced briGangaikondacholapuramck and bamboo cottages that occupy the land once part of great GangaikondacholapuramGangaiGangaikondacholapuramkondacholapuram.

Gangaikondacholapuram
Gangaikondacholapuram
$*#Gangaikondacholapuram#*$
$*#Gangaikondacholapuram#*$
!!$*#Gangaikondacholapuram#*$!!

"Captain, sir, we can't stop it! The Gangaikondacholapuram....it's escaped the Gangaikondacholapuramcontainment field! It's in our brainapurams....OH GOD... GANGAIKONDAAAAAAAAAHHHHHGHHGHHHHHH"

"Lieutenant Smith! Lieutenant ondacholasmith...my God... Someone start the override!"

"Which override sir!?!?"

"The Gangaikond.....NO, NO....start the Snoop Doggapuram, the Snoop Dogg override, before it's too late!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

EMERGENCY PROTOCOL 187
GANGAIKONDACHOLAPURAM SNOOP DOGG OVERRIDE
----Tha Gangaikondacholapuramshiznat--
##Poppin, stoppin, Gangaikondacholapuram like a rabbit ##
##When I take the Gangaikondacholapuram ya know I gota ta have it ##
##I lay back in Gangaikond retain myself ##
##Think about the shit, and I'm thinkin wealth ##
##How can I makes my Gangaikondacholapura ##
##And how should I make that Gangaikigga straight slip ##
##Set trip, Ganga get him for his grip ##
##as I kond around the corner, now i'm on a-nother ##
##mission, cholapuram, wishin, upon a star ##
##Gangaikondacholapuram with the caviar ##
##In the back of the limo no demo, this is the real ##
##Breakin niggaz down like Kondachola Holyfield, chill ##
##to the next Episode ##
##I make money, and I really don't love hoes ##
##Tell ya the truthuram, I swoop in the Coupeuram ##
##I used to sell looturam, I used to shoot hoopsuram ##
##But now I, make, hits, every single day ##
##With, that nigga, the diggy Dr. Dre ##
##So lay back in the cut, motherfucker 'fore you get shot ##
##It's 1-8-7 on a motherfuckin cop ##
----------------------------------------

"Sir! Listen, the Gangaikondacholapuram, the override's working!"
"Lieutenant Smith, is that you? Can you speak? Can you say it without..."
"Sir, I can say...I can say...not that town!"
"Try saying something else."
"Thiruvananthapuram."
"No, one with no shared syllables...we have to know it isn't dormant."
"Captain, I'll try my best...Tiruchchirappalli."
"....we did it, lieutenant, we did it!"
"Thank God!"

"No. Thank Snoop Dogg."


Gangaikondacholapuram is a trife bitch'puram. Represent your motherfucking set. Peace.