Field Guide To Sri Lankan Cliffs

The Definitive Resource on Ceylonese Precipices

GFB exclamation of the day: "This isn't potato - it's fried fish heads!"

I have been quite slowly creeping along the southern edge of the Sri Lankan mountains, taking in the various places that are known for their natural beauty. In the Sri Lankan hills, this effectively means cliffs. I have been spending a great deal of time around precipices, which is perhaps a warning of how eating "rice and curry" every single night is making me feel about life. Anyways, I have seen such a number of cliffs on this island now that I consider myself something of an expert. So for the benefit of my readers and humanity as a whole (but I repeat myself...) I have compiled this guide, evaluating the relative merits of Sri Lanka's various planes of stone and associated vertical topography.

Each cliff will be briefly introduced, and then rated on a five-star system in four categories.

1. Scenery- The aesthetic quality of the cliff and its surroundings. 5 stars indicates a cliff is highly aesthetically pleasing.
2. Climate- An inverse measure of the awfulness of the cliff's weather. 5 stars indicates that the weather at the cliff does not often suck.
3. Bullshitlessness- An inverse measure of the amount of bullshit one most confront in order to visit the cliff. 5 stars indicates a bullshit-free experience.
4. Suicidability- Fun fact: Aside from having the world's highest alcoholism rate, Sri Lanka also has the world's highest suicide rate. Since the island offers such a bevy of dangerous falls, you could even consider it a suicide destination. "Suicidability" measures the suitability of a cliff for ending one's own life. 5 stars indicates certain death.

Let us begin.


Sri Pada (Adam's Peak)

Sri Pada has already been discussed extensively in  this recent post, but in short it is a very steep and very sacred mountain said to be the home of the Sri Lankan Buddhist god Saman, as well as the site of a magical footprint left by Lord Buddha, while local Muslims and opportunistic Christian's believe the footprint is that of Adam, the first man.

• Scenery- 3/5. I have seen video evidence of the fantastic scenery occasionally visible from Adam's Peak, though if you come during the wrong half of the year, or at a reasonable hour of day, you are liable to encounter a whole lot of clouds, about which I need not repeat myself.
• Climate- 1/5. Terrible. In the best of times, it is guaranteed to be cold; at other times, well, once again I need not repeat myself.
• Bullshitlessness- 3/5. Having a half-year "season", outside of which its conveniences and infrastructure are abandoned lose it one star, while the recommended climb-starting time of 2 a.m. costs it another.
• Suicidability- 3/5. Definitely lethal, but the sacred mountain itself is too potent a reminder of the futility of the act; you'll just be reborn and have countless more lifetimes to suffer.

World's End (Horton Plains National Park)

World's End is Sri Lanka's most famous cliff. It is approximately 800 meters straight down, and offers uninterrupted views for miles and miles across the southern plains, and over the numerous crumpled hills to the east. It also lies within a splendid national park of high-altitude grassland and cloud forest, where deer and such can be seen running around. The park is also worth a visit for what are unquestionably Sri Lanka's, if not Asia's most spectacular toilets (located at the park entrance facility at the western gate). I am not joking.

• Scenery- 5/5. Spectacular, and the surrounding parkland is lovely too.
• Climate- 3/5. High and sometimes chilly, with a tendency for clouds and mist to come ruin the views and make you unpleasantly damp well before midday.
• Bullshitless- 1/5. As a National Park, it is owned by the Sri Lankan government; ergo rapacious, piratical, and rife with bullshit. Entrance fees payable in cash or kidneys.
• Suicidability- 5/5. You won't be the first.

Haputale

A relatively undistinguished Sri Lankan town with the usual assortment of claustrophobic vegetable shops and dubious bakeries, except for the fact that it sits right on the top of a ridge with open views both over the plains to the south, and the folds of the hill country to the north.

• Scenery- 4/5. Superb, and seeing both ways is an added bonus, though since we are comparing cliffs it must be said that there are others that are better.
• Climate- 2/5. Arriving at my guesthouse and looking out over the view and the village's topography for the first time, I immediately said "The weather here is going to be ass." Sure enough, perched on a near-vertical ridge with nothing but humid plains between there and the sea, Haputale sits at the top of a textbook case of "Rain Shadow". Clouds and rain at some time every day is the norm.
• Bullshitlessness- 3/5. Haputale is a functioning Sri Lankan market town, which implies a certain amount of bullshit. For instance, did you know that Sri Lankan "Book Shops" do not sell books?
• Suicidability- 5/5. It is conceivable that if you hopped from the wrong spot you might only go partway down and survive the first part of the drop, but then you would have broken legs and be lying in the middle of highway A16

Lipton's Seat

Named for Sir Thomas Lipton, a.k.a. the Lipton's Tea guy, this famous peak juts up from the hill country's southern escarpment in an area blanketed with immaculate fields of tea.

• Scenery- 5/5. Fabulous views both of the plains and the mountains, with wonderful tea, tea, and tea in between. Even the walk is lovely, although rather uphill.
• Climate- 3/5. Not particularly cold, but clouds and rain virtually guaranteed by the afternoon, and it is a long way to walk back down in a rainstorm. Come very early or hire a rickshaw.
• Bullshitlessness- 4/5. Relatively devoid of bullshit.
• Suicidability- 2/5.Though you can see a great difference in altitude from the Seat, if you attempted jumping in the immediate area, you would be most likely to land shortly below, and in a tea bush, which would just suck.

Bambarakanda Falls

Falling from the same extended southern escarpment on which most of these cliffs lie, Bambarakanda Falls are the highest in Sri Lanka at 241 meters (790 feet).

• Scenery- 3/5. Reaching the falls involves a nice excursion through rural scenery in a cleft of the mountains. The falls themselves, while certainly high, are little more than a modest mountain stream encountering the laws of gravity.
• Climate- 3/5. Fortunately, the falls are low enough down that you are unlikely to find yourself in a cloud, though you are in a rain shadow area.
• Bullshitlessness- 4/5 Not much bullshit, save for the ridiculous road signs which tell you the falls are "5km" away no matter how far you have walked.
• Suicidability- 2/5. Inconveniently for the incipiently self-destructive, one visits the falls from the bottom of the cliff. You could try drowning in the pool.

Ella

A totally touristy little village at the southeastern corner of the hills, best known for its peaceful atmosphere, you guessed it, its views down large cliffs and out across open plains. The village is set around the Ella Gap, a small valley made by the local stream, stony and precipitous in some places, grassy and sometimes even terraced in others. In fact, I am in Ella right now, at one of its various overpriced tourist eateries, where actual hunger is a financial liability.

• Scenery- 4/5. No complaints here, and there are multiple points from which to admire the usual combo of verticality, distance, and tea leaf. The majestic Ravana Ella Falls a few miles down the valley add a major aesthetic bonus to the area.
• Climate- 3/5. Lower, warmer, and less exposed to damp and awfulness than most of the other cliffs here, though that is a relative statement.
• Bullshitlessness- 2/5. They try and charge 700 SL rupees here for a rice and curry dinner (normal price is ~350), which tells you all you need to know about the mentality here. Gahhhh. Tourists...
• Suicidability- 5/5. The cliff at Ella Rock is fabulously deadly, and the one at "Little Adam's Peak" should also do. Meanwhile, in town the various establishments that serve alcohol a short distance from the Ella Gap's edge are a highly convenient option for those with easily-cooled feet.

Well, I guess that about covers it for the noteworthy cliffs of Sri Lanka. I must say, all this talk of suicide is a little unusual. I'm used to talking about myself at length, and about things that intend to murder me almost as much, but the combination of the two suggests an urgent trip to a specialist. And by "specialist" I mean the liquor store. It's Sri Lanka. 4 P.M. is not too early. Good night!