Quickie (Apr. 25)

It seems the suits in travel-writing headquarters have noticed I haven't done any work for them in some time. Though they seem no less eager to part company than I am, they did draw attention to the fact that my article on Agra had the word DRAFT right on the title, and many of the subheadings read "incomplete". As I am contractually obligated to give a full reporting of Agra, I was forced to return to that vile city, take my revenge upon it, and in the meantime assert my independence once again from the malignant imperial forces of tyranny. It's like "Return of the Jedi" meets the War of 1812 up in this bitch.

So anyways, I dutifully returned to Agra and Fatehpur Sikri and once again slogged about taking photos and writing notes for paragraphs about Mughal tombs. (Sample note: "lame. add more jokes"). Thus, my friends, you are now blessed with Ghostface Buddha's very own pictures of the above-named cities, and guess what, the Taj Mahal looks pretty much as it always has, save for a layer of smog so foul that when you stand by the riverside you can't even see far enough to discern that you are in the midst of a million-plus population city.

It is still mercilessly hot, and so there are actually almost no tourists in Agra at all, and all the vulture-like merchants of the tourist zones are too busy hiding from the heat in darkened stores to bother trying to screw you. It's like the film "I Am Legend", where you walk almost unmolested on famously obnoxious streets, but can safely assume that anyone who approaches you ought to be machine-gunned in the face. Also, as I've hinted at before, my life is about 30% modeled on the film career of Will Smith. Unlike Agra, Fatehpur Sikri has no seasonal mellow. After 24,000km on the road and a second visit to the place, I now confidently report that the modern village of Fatehpur Sikri is home, on average, to the most annoying human beings in all of India, and the upper-extreme outliers are truly a contemptible marvel. Ghostface Buddha may have had to slap a fool.

Anyways, I gotta go for now. According to my sources, I am dangerously close to missing the closing hour of "the only not-very-bad food eatings restorent in Sanchi", and I like my eatings restorents to be not very bad.